


low budget ndrv3 group chat

by orphan_account



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: "is it gay to fuck a robot??" -shuichi saihara, (Almost) EVeryone Is Gay, Alternate Universe - Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Character names spelt as "Ouma" and "Kiibo", Everyone Is Alive, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gay, Gonta is a sweet baby, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Maki Harukawa is done with Kokichi's shit, Oma Kokichi Is a Little Shit, Tags Are Hard, everyone is lowkey gay, some are highkey gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 16:57:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14313147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tsumugi makes a group chat at 3AM in the morning.It all goes to shit very quickly.





	1. the beginning of the end

**Author's Note:**

> i need more chatfics in my life omg  
> there are literally dozens of these chatfics but i need m o r e of them
> 
> this first chapter doesn't really have any major ships in them yet, bc i just wanted to put in the creation of the chat and shit lmao  
> next chapter is when shit really hits the fan ;)
> 
> Usernames:  
> off brand junko - tsumugi  
> panta gremlin - kokichi  
> mystery avocado - rantaro  
> gay penis - kaede  
> angsty hat - shuichi  
> kill yourself - maki  
> bondage porn - miu  
> mommy - kirumi  
> kiibocchio - kiibo  
> gay karate - tenko  
> nyeh that's gay - himiko  
> atua is dead and we killed him - angie  
> the moon is flat - kaito  
> tennis cryptid - ryoma  
> Gonta - Gonta  
> stick man - korekiyo
> 
> forgive me for these unoriginal names lmao
> 
> also SPOILERS!! they're not too major but i reference some points in the game so if you somehwo haven't played the game yet and want to pls be cautious

_14th April 20xx, 3:23AM_

_**Tsumugi Shirogane** created **Untitled Group Chat**_

_**Tsumugi Shirogane** renamed **Untitled Group Chat** to **owo what's this???**_

_**Tsumugi Shirogane** added **Kaede Akamatsu, Shuichi Saihara, Rantaro Amami and 12 others** to **owo what's this???**_

 

 **Shuichi Saihara:** wait what

 **Shuichi Saihara:** shirogane-san what is this

 **Tsumugi Shirogane:** it's a group chat!!

 **Tsumugi Shirogane** : the principal asked all the class representatives to create a group chat, and akamatsu-san is apparently too lazy lol

 **Rantaro Amami:** wait holy shit

 **Rantaro Amami:** did

 **Rantaro Amami:** did you just say

 **Rantaro Amami:** lol?

 **Tsumugi Shirogane:** yes

 **Shuichi Saihara** : omg

 **Rantaro Amami** : i can't believe this

 **Rantaro Amami:** lol and omg used within seconds of eachother

 **Rantaro Amami** : disgusting

 **Kokichi Ouma** : owo whats this???

 **Shuichi Saihara** : oh no

 **Tsumugi Shirogane** : oh no

 **Rantaro Amami** : oh no

 **Tenko Chabashira** : it's the gremlin

 **Kokichi Ouma** : rude

 **Kokichi Ouma** : anyway

 **Kokichi Ouma:** you're all fucking awake stop pretending you aren't

 **Kokichi Ouma** : @everyone

 **Kokichi Ouma** : @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone

 **Maki Harukawa** : Shut up or I will come over to your room and stab you

 **Kokichi Ouma** : that's illegal though, maki roll!

 **Maki Harukawa** : fuck the law i'm stabbing this bitch

 **Shuichi Saihara** : !!!

 **Kiibo** : Don't kill Ouma-kun, Harukawa-san!

 **Kokichi Ouma** : wow, the only one here who actually appreciates me is the robot

 **Kokichi Ouma** : i can't believe you guys

 **Maki Harukawa** : If there was no such thing as a law, I swear you'd be crushed under a hydraulic press

 **Rantaro Amami** : funny you mention that

 **Shuichi Saihara:** what

 **Maki Harukawa:** what

 **Tsumugi Shirogane:** oh?

**Rantaro Amami:**

**Rantaro Amami:** nevermind

 **Kaede Akamatsu:** I hope you guys realise it's 3:30 in the morning rn

 **Shuichi Saihara:** ah, hello akamatsu-san!

 **Kiibo:** Good morning, Akamatsu-san!

 **Kaede Akamatsu** : Good morning to you both as well, although you really should be sleeping right now

 **Kokichi Ouma** : says you

 **Tsumugi Shirogane** : wait who's awake right now?

 **Shuichi Saihara** : me

 **Rantaro Amami** : me

 **Kiibo** : Me!

 **Kaede Akamatsu** : me

 **Maki Harukawa** : me

 **Tenko Chabashira** : me!!!

 **Himiko Yumeno** : me

 **Angie Yonaga** : angie is awake!!

 **Kaito Momota** : me!

 **Ryoma Hoshi** : me

 **Korekiyo Shinguji** : me

 **Gonta Gokuhara** : Gonta is awake!

 **Miu Iruma:** me

 **Kirumi Tojo** : All of you. Go to bed. Now.

 **Gonta Gokuhara** : Okay! Gonta says goodnight, Tojo-san!

 **Kirumi Tojo** : Goodnight, Gokuhara-kun.

 **Miu Iruma:** fuck sleeping

 **Miu Iruma** : sleep is for the weak

 **Kirumi Tojo** : Miu Iruma.

 **Miu Iruma** : eep

 **Miu Iruma** : ok

 **Miu Iruma** : goodnight you kinky fucks

 **Tsumugi Shirogane** : this isn't over

 **Tsumugi Shirogane** : we shall return later this morning

 **Shuichi Saihara** : great

 **Shuichi Saihara** : time to have an existential crisis 

* * *

 

_8:46 AM_

**Kokichi Ouma** : what is up guys and welcome to my minecraft letsplay channel

 **Tenko Chabashira** : go die

 **Kokichi Ouma** : no thanks

 **Kokichi Ouma** : anyway, i forgot to do this last night, so enjoy! :)

 **Kokichi Ouma** changed **Rantaro Amami'** s nickname to **mystery avocado**

 **Kokichi Ouma**  changed  **Shuichi Saihara'** s nickname to **angsty hat**

 **Kokichi Ouma**  changed  **Kaede Akamatsu'** s nickname to **lesbian penis**

 **Kokichi Ouma**  changed **Tsumugi Shirogane'** s nickname to **off-brand junko**

 **Kokichi Ouma**  changed  **Kaito Momota'** s nickname to **the moon is flat**

 **Kokichi Ouma**  changed **Maki Harukawa'** s nickname to **Ass Ass Sin**

 **Ass Ass Sin:** no.

 **Ass Ass Sin** changed their nickname to **kill yourself**

 **Kokichi Ouma:** acceptable

 **angsty hat:** what the fuck

 **the moon is flat** : what the fuck ouma

 **mystery avocado** : wow

 **mystery avocado** : original

 **Kokichi Ouma** : thanks amami-chan. it really helps, y'know.

 **mystery avocado** : you're welcome

 **off-brand junko** : ovo

 **lesbian penis** : this has gotten to the point where i don't even question it anymore

 **Kokichi Ouma** : i'm not done yet!

 

 **Kokichi Ouma**  changed **Miu Iruma'** s nickname to  **bondage porn**

 **Kokichi Ouma**  changed **Kirumi Tojo'** s nickname to **mummy**

 **Kokichi Ouma**  changed **Tenko Chabashira'** s nickname to **gay karate**

 **Kokichi Ouma**  changed **Himiko Yumeno'** s nickname to **nyeh, that's gay**

 **Kokichi Ouma**  changed **Gonta Gokuhara'** s nickname to **bug orgasm**

 **mummy:** No.

 **mummy**  changed **bug orgasm'** s nickname to **Gonta**

 **Gonta:** Oh, thank you Tojo-san!

 **Gonta** : Gonta doesn't know what a "bug orgasm" is. Could anyone tell Gonta?

 **bondage porn** : FTYGHSBDHYUDBKJVDFHU

 **bondage porn:** HOLY SHIT I'M DY8NGGYUHSWDUKJ

 **lesbian penis** : GONTA NO

 **Kiibo** : To be fair, I too don't know what that is, although judging by your reactions, it doesn't seem to be a good thing.

 **lesbian penis** : KIIBO, GONTA YOU SWEET PRECIOUS BABIES

 **lesbian penis** : YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS

 **angsty hat** : PLEASE KEEP OUR PURE CHILDREN PURE

 **Gonta** : Oh, okay! 

 **Kokichi Ouma** : aww, but i liked that name! :(

 **Kokichi Ouma** : whatever! i still have more usernames to come!

 **angsty hat** : wait

 **angsty hat:** i just had an idea

 **Kokichi Ouma** : owo?

 **angsty hat** changed **Kiibo'** s nickname to **Kiibocchio**

 **Kiibocchio:** Huh?

 **angsty hat** : i just thought about pinocchio and my immediate first thought was kiibo

 **angsty hat** : pinocchio is one of my favourite disney movies so???

 **Kiibocchio** : No, it's okay Saihara-kun!! I was just surprised. I do quite like Pinocchio, too!

 **Kiibocchio** : Besides, it spares me the pain of being given a nickname by Ouma-kun.

 **angsty hat** : ah, you're welcome!

 **mystery avocado** : yooo we should have a disney movie night

 **angsty hat** : YES

 **angsty hat** : BOY I LOVE DISNEY

 **Kokichi Ouma** : can i come?? <v<

 **mystery avocado** : no

 **Kokichi Ouma** : rude

 **Kokichi Ouma**  changed **Ryoma Hoshi'** s nickname to **tennis cryptid**

 **Kokichi Ouma**  changed **Korekiyo Shinguji'** s nickname to **stick man**

 **Kokichi Ouma**  changed **Angie Yonaga'** s nickname to **atua is dead and we killed him**

 **Kokichi Ouma:** i think that's everyone!! enjoy ;))

 **off-brand** junko: aren't you forgetting someone?

 **Kokichi Ouma** : nope! dunno what you're talking about shirogane-chan!!

 **off-brand** junko: <v<

 

 **off-brand junko** changed **Kokichi Ouma'** s nickname to **panta gremlin**

 **panta gremlin:** thanks! i hate it

 **off-brand junko** : good

 **lesbian penis** : i love how this chat was supposed to be a bonding exercise started by the principal but it's jast devolved into a pile of memes

 **off-brand junko** : shut up you were the one who was too lazy to actually create the chat

 **lesbian penis** : it was 3 o'clock in the morning

 **off-brand junko** : and?

 **lesbian penis** : we should've been sleeping?? and you were being impatient??

 **off-brand junko** : yeah welll i need fuel for my ships

 **lesbian penis** : what

 **angsty hat** : what

 **Kiibocchio** : what

 **panta gremlin** : oh yeah!! shirogane-chan has a diary where she documents every interaction everyone has had with eachother!!

 **mystery avocado** : how can she document everything if she's hardly there most of the time

 **lesbian penis** : remember when she bribed iruma-san into building lots of security camera screens into her room

 **mystery avocado** : oh

 **bondage porn** : SHE BRIBED ME WITH THE PROMISE OF ALL OF HER HENTAI COLLECTION

 **the moon is flat** : holy shit

 **bondage porn** : THE SLUT NEVER GAVE ME ANY OF THEM

 **off-brand junko** **:** >:3

 **bondage porn** : YA LYING BITCH

 **stick man:** Hmmm, interesting...

 **angsty hat** : shingujji-kun no 


	2. it's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-duel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone is gay for maki, kokichi scales a building, maki and kokichi duel on the academy's roof, kiibo dies and shuichi decides to aid a dead robot. just a normal day in the life of the 79th class

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usernames:  
> off brand junko - tsumugi  
> panta gremlin - kokichi  
> mystery avocado - rantaro  
> gay penis - kaede  
> angsty hat - shuichi  
> kill yourself - maki  
> bondage porn - miu  
> mommy - kirumi  
> kiibocchio - kiibo  
> gay karate - tenko  
> nyeh that's gay - himiko  
> atua is dead and we killed him - angie  
> the moon is flat - kaito  
> tennis cryptid - ryoma  
> Gonta - Gonta  
> stick man - korekiyo
> 
> this chapter is a lot shorter than i wanted it to be tbh  
> but that's ok, bc shit still happens in this chapter

**_"owo whats this??"_ **

_April 15th 20xx, 6:55AM_

**lesbian penis** : can we all just agree that harukawa-san is fucking hot

**kill yourself** : what

**gay karate** : yeah!! she's like girlfriend material

**kill yourself** : wha t

**atua is dead and we killed him** : harukawa-san has atua's blessing!

**kill yourself** : wh a t

**off-brand junko** : she's 100% tsundere waifu material!!!

**kill yourself** : w h a t

**the moon is flat** : i think you guys just broke harumaki with your gayness

**panta gremlin** : such a foreign feeling, isn't it harukawa-chan?

**kill yourself** : shut up

**lesbian penis** : aww, that's so cute omg???

**kill yourself** : ...

**mystery avocado** : why is it so gay in here

**lesbian penis** : i bet if ya'll had the opportunity you boys would all go off on how pretty saihara-kun is

**angsty hat** : w-what?

**Kiibocchio** : Saihara-kun is very pretty!

**bondage porn** : YGHBNFEDSVYGUBHJ

**off-brand junko** : !!

**angsty hat** : ah,,

**angsty hat** : t-thank you, kiibo-kun

**lesbian penis** : see what i mean

**mystery avocado** : point taken

**kill yourself** : why do i have this warm feeling in my chest

**panta gremlin** : because you're gay

**kill yourself** : no

**lesbian penis** : yes

**gay karate** : yes

**off-brand junko** : yes

**atua is dead and we killed him:** yes

**kill yourself** : ...

**panta gremlin** : aww, harumaki-chan looks so kawaii!! :33333

**kill yourself** :

**the moon is flat** : ouma

**panta gremlin** : oh

**panta gremlin** : oh no

**angsty hat** : why do i hear running

**panta gremlin** : 8YUGHFSEDFUINJ

**panta gremlin** : JISKMAKI NO

**gay karate** : YES QUEEN YES

**gay karate** : SLAY THAT GREMLIN

**panta gremlin** : FTYUCK YOU CHAVBSASHIRAAAA

**panta gremlin** : I WON'T LET YOU TAKE ME ALIVE

**angsty hat** : holy shit

**angsty hat** : HOLY SHIT

**mystery avocado** : OH MY GDO

**mystery avocado** : GYUKJBMN DSFUHYJ

**lesbian penis** : what?

**lesbian penis** : wait

**lesbian penis** : is that

**lesbian penis** : is that ouma

**lesbian penis** : scaling the walls of hopes peak

**bondage porn:** WHAT

**the moon is flat** : OUMA'S DOING WHAT NOW

**the moon is flat** : HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK

**gay karate:** I'VE NEVER BEEN SO FUCKING TERRIFIED YET ENERGISED IN MY LIFE

**bondage porn** : I'M SO FUCKING W E T

**angsty hat** : WHAT A MADMAN

**mystery avocado** : THIS IS LIKE A SCENE RIGHT OUT OF A MOVIE

**Kiibocchio** : Oh no...

**Gonta** : What's happening here?! Why is Ouma-kun climbing up the building?!

**stick man:** Oh.

**tennis cryptid:** this is why i want to not exist

**angsty hat:** same tbh

**the moon is flat:** HOLY SHIT

**the moon is flat:** HARUMAKI'S MADE IT UP THERE TOO

**the moon is flat:** THEY'RE ACTUALLY HAVING A FULL ON DUEL UP THERE

**off-brand junko:** I'VE BEEN RECORDING THIS THE WHOLE TIME AND OH MY GOD

**angsty hat** : YOU WHAT

**bondage slut** : ONE OF THESE SLUTS IS GOING TO FALL DOWN

**lesbian penis** : I REFUSE TO LET THIS CONTINUE

**angsty hat** : what

**stick man:** Hmm?

**tennis crypid** : oh my god

**mystery avocado** : wait akamatsu-san, did you

**mystery avocado** : oh my god

**mystery avocado** : did you seriously just ask the principal to put a message over the loudspeaker

**off-brand junko** : "maki harukawa and kokichi ouma, please get down from the roof and come to my office. now."

**angsty hat** : i actually don't think i've heard mr. kirigiri even remotely angry

**bondage slut** : wait he sounded angry?? it sounded like the cuck was enjoying it

**Kiibocchio:** Ah, i just realised...

**angsty hat** : what is it?

**Kiibocchio:** I

**lesbian penis** : huh??

**bondage porn** : what the fuck

**angsty hat** : oh no

**angsty hat** : oh geez

**mystery avocado** : saihara? you ok m'dude

**angsty hat** : i'm okay

**angsty hat** : but kiibo-kun just passed out right in the middle of the hallway

**angsty hat** : i think he ran out of charge...

**bondage porn** : what an idiot! he must've forgotten to plug himself in or some shit

**angsty hat** : he must've...

**angsty hat** : but what do i do?

**bondage porn:** take the bot back to his room. you should easily find his charger. just plug him in and wait!

**angsty hat** : okay. thanks iruma-san.

**mystery avocado** : was iruma-san just polite with someone?

**off-brand junko** : oh my god

**bondage porn** : shut up you lime-haired slut

**off-brand junko** : oh my god guys

**lesbian penis** : what

**mystery avocado** : what

**off-brand junko** : i just witnessed saihara-kun carry kiibo-kun back to his room

**off-brand junko** : bridal style

**mystery avocado** : oh my god

**lesbian penis** : WHEEZE

**lesbian penis** : that's pretty gay

**mystery avocado** : "fellas is it gay if you fuck a robot??" -shuichi saihara

**bondage porn** : TGYHBMNSDVYU

**lesbian penis** : does saihara is gay

**bondage porn:** GUYS STOP PLEASE

**bondage porn:** I'M ACTUALLY ABOUT TO DIE

**mystery avocado** : good

**bondage porn** : FUCK YOU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah,, pretty short chapter lmao
> 
> i am focusing on saiibo a lot during this chatfic, although i will be developing the kaiouma very soon. saiibo's soo criminally underrated tfyvjgwhddsvfgiuk
> 
> also i apologise if some characters (miu, shuichi, ect..) are acting a bit ooc!! i have absolutely no idea how to write miu in the slightest and i tend to make shuichi a bit more aggressive and outspoken then he is in the actual game lmao sorry about that

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: saiibo and kaiouma are the only planned ships for this chatfic  
> if any other ships happen it's simply bc i realised i accidently put in a lot of shiptease lol
> 
> also DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO BOLD ALL THEIR USERNAMES?? LIKE GODDAMN I DON'T HAVE THE TIME FOR THIS BUT I WANT IT TO LOOK GOOD YGDSFDHYLHFSS


End file.
